FECALS Matters
Dear Former HHS Price,
As a former elected official, I would like to welcome you to the Former Elected Campaigners and Lobbyist Society, more affectionately known as FECALS. Congratulations on your entry into being a “regular citizen.” For many former elected officials and government appointees the transition is hard. That is where FECALS and our members will help.
Although you spent far more time and I in elected office, I can tell you that the transition can be rather easy. One of the first things to do is to choose which of the FECALS caucuses you would like to join. You should be excited to know that due to the high number of new FECALS members coming from the current White House administration in just the last nine months, we have created a new caucus just for you! Please note the Trump FECALS caucus members have made an explicit rule banning all social media, so please do not bring your smart phone to their meetings.
We have many perks for our FECALS members. We can help to connect you with a ghost writer or editors for your tell all book. In cases like yours we truly encourage you to tell it all. Some of our members who did not expect to join FECALS so quickly take advantage of our grief counseling services. However, I suspect that grief is not the emotion you may be experiencing. The news announced your sudden membership into FECALS was blamed on transportation concerns. However, we know the media often gets things wrong. I will speculate that your sudden departure had less to do with airfare and more to do with you wisely evacuating the sinking ship of the administration. I applaud you for finding an opportune time to jump ship. No matter your reason for leaving you are welcomed here.
FECALS is a nonpartisan association because we know we have a very important role to play in American politics that crosses party lines. We hope you will join our marquee activity of recruiting new members! As a former elected I am sure you can recommend political “R.O.A.D. Kill” also known as politicians who are Retired On Active Duty. Please submit the names of all the elected officials you know that have passed their “sell by” date so we can have them join our association. Best news about our efforts to “drain the swamp” is that for each new member you recruit we will reduce your joining fee. The fee to join is $1,000.00 or the amount the former elected official owes in taxes or restitution to the American people, whichever is more. Please let us know what your joining fee will be and when we should expect to receive it.
We look forward to having you sit back with us and talk about what everyone else is doing wrong. The most important portion of being a FECALS member is that once you join you can never-ever go back into public office. We would really like to have you as a member.
Sincerely,
LaDawn LBJ Jones
Former State Representative
FECALS new member recruitment Chair
About Author
LaDawn LBJ Jones
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I was not a supporter of Congressman Price when he represented me, and remain confused over the tempest regarding travel when I compare it to the two previous administration’s actors doing the same thing. So unconfuse me through explaining the relevance beyond your opinion of a man that left office. Before posting my question; I went back to re-read the “Welcome” explanation of the purpose of GeorgiaPol on how “What is asked of contributors is to bring their best thoughts, ideas, knowledge, and perspective to shape the political and policy discussions of our state.”? I hope your piece is not your “best”.
I would prefer to hear you use your skills explaining WHAT the guidelines are, and why numerous cabinet members going back to to Ron Brown and Henry Cissinarus [think Roberta Lynch in Arizona] violated the current guideline. You may wish to research the guidelines and try to explain WHO gets to make the call when private/military flights can be used. Murky at best until Pres. Trump designated John Kelly as the WHO.
Bring us writings that shape our thoughts and not SPOS.
Speaking of that “Welcome” explanation…
The third paragraph after the portion you quoted reads ” our writers will still try to begin these conversations with wit, humor, and other elements of personal style.” Perhaps that conversation you desperately wish to have can begin in the comments section after having been prompted from what is clearly tagged as satire. I’d say the piece encouraged you to begin shaping some thoughts and also prompted you to do some research. Is that not exactly the point of this enterprise?
Its okay to laugh every once in a while PM. In fact, I’d posit that we can use a few more humorous takes on current events given the current climate.
Weasel – your point is well taken; I will drag out old copies of SPY mag. for satire done well. Afterwards I will look to GeorgiaPol to provide “… thoughts, ideas, knowledge, and perspective to shape the political and policy discussions of our state.”