November 16, 2016 9:02 AM
Fresh off the heels of his write-in POTUS victory in Gwinnett County, Harambe* crushed his opponents in Fulton.
Judging from the AJC‘s report, Harambe’s victory was so thorough they never bothered to tally the results for anyone else.
In the interest of fairness, shoutouts need to be given to the valiant, noble and vanquished foes of A Wilted Head of Lettuce, Bacon, Tom Brady, Pepper my Roommate’s Cat, Superwoman Hillary Clinton, “Hip hop artist Common”, Pizza, Lucifer, Dirt, Bush et al. There’s no way you could hold a candle to Harambe but you tried. And for that, you should be commended.
*RIP in Peace–that which has lived may never die.